Sunday, August 30, 2009

Adopted Teen Finds His Biological Parents

I found this article on AOL and nearly flipped out! After reading this article my eyes began to fill with water. As an adoptee, sometimes you may never know the exact reason why we are given for adoption, but we must remain humble and never fill our hearts with anger about the situation. Life is challenging, it more than most can handle at times. Be strong adoptee's, learn to forgive, learn to find peace within, and learn to love again.

(Aug. 28) – As most American teens plan their return to school, Christian Norris planned a different return –- to China, and the biological parents he thought had abandoned him.
Three years ago, Christian, now 17, asked his adoptive mother, Julia Norris, if she could look for his birth parents.

This summer, she found them. And what she discovered shocked relatives on opposite sides of the world. His family had not abandoned him. Instead, they had been separated by a tragic mistake, when his father lost him while they were traveling by bus. The parents say they never intended to let their son go.
This weekend, they welcomed him back.
The e-mails the parents exchanged tell the story.
"The world is so big, yet the love of a mother is even beyond that," Christian's Chinese father, Jin Gaoke, wrote. "A foreigner just devotes all the selfless love to a Chinese child, what an amazing internationalism! You are a great mother and I bow to you."
Julia Norris' mother, Joyce Norris, helped tell her daughter's story, one that's made headlines from CNN to The Baltimore Sun to daily newspapers in China. Her daughter was unavailable -- she was traveling.
Julia Norris also tells her story on her blog. In 2000 Norris, a single woman of 33, journeyed on a mission with an adoption agency to China. There, a young boy captivated her. His Chinese name was Jing Jiacheng. He was found under a bridge in 1998, alone and in shock. Police couldn’t find his parents, so he was available for adoption.
Julia Norris, who wanted to be a mother but had planned on marrying first, couldn’t stop thinking about him, Joyce Norris said.
In the spring of 2001, she formally adopted him, and he came to live with her in tiny Easton, Md., near the Chesapeake Bay.
Over the years she jotted down whatever he recalled of his Chinese childhood. After her son asked her to search for his birth parents, Julia Norris tried to piece together what she could. She enlisted the help of a Chinese attorney. She scoured the Web.
This summer, she received an e-mail from Christian's biological father, a doctor whose wife --– Christian's mother -– had breast cancer.
He begged for his son's forgiveness and asked to meet him.
Norris replied on behalf of her son.
"I hope in some small way you can find peace now knowing that during the time he was missing from your lives he was treated well and very much loved by his American family," she wrote.
"My hope is that Christian never feels emotionally torn between two families that both love him dearly, but instead that he can think of us as one big family that now spans two great nations! I hope your family will also do the same."
Christian, it turns out, had been raised partly by an uncle in China. Reports differ about exactly how he got lost, but all of the stories agree that the boy was separated from his father when traveling by a bus. That was in 1998.
Traveling to China this summer wasn't easy on the family. In addition to Christian, Norris has a 6-year-old daughter she also adopted from China. As Joyce Norris said: "There's too much month for the money" for the still-single mom.
But then an anonymous donor from the Norris' church gave the family two plane tickets. Julia Norris' boss bought a third ticket, her mother said. And a fund at a local bank accepted donations.
On Thursday, Julia Norris, her brother, her sister and Christian flew to Beijing to meet Christian's Chinese parents. They planned the trip quickly, in case his birth mother's health flagged suddenly.
At around 9 p.m. Friday night East Coast time, Christian reunited with his biological parents.
"The birth family was waiting for us when we walked into the room," Julia Norris wrote on her blog. "As soon as the family laid eyes on Christian there were outbursts of tears. His birthfather literally knelt down in front of Christian holding his hands and sobbed. "
Later the families ate together and took a boat ride.
Christian's Chinese grandmother clutched the boy's hand, Julia Norris wrote, like she never wanted to let it go.

2009 AOL LLC. All Rights Reserved.
2009-08-29 15:23:54

4 comments:

  1. Wow, Jae, Thanks for finding and posting this story. It is awesome to see how some Adoptive Parents, who are for Open Adoption, sought to help Christian find out his "true story". Even the Natural/Birth parents, at the end of the first article, noted that they did not expect Christian to 'move back' to China but hoped for continued contact.
    I put "Followers" back on my blog, think I took it off because NO ONE WAS FOLLOWING ME. BooHoo, LOL. I hope the comment thingy works for me this time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, Jae, Thanks for finding and posting this story. It is awesome to see how some Adoptive Parents, who are for Open Adoption, sought to help Christian find out his "true story". Even the Natural/Birth parents, at the end of the first article, noted that they did not expect Christian to 'move back' to China but hoped for continued contact.
    I put "Followers" back on my blog, think I took it off because NO ONE WAS FOLLOWING ME. BooHoo, LOL. I hope the comment thingy works for me this time.

    ReplyDelete
  3. PLEASE HELP! WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY DAUGHTER FROM NEWBORN HAS ALWAYS KNOWN THAT SHE WAS SPECIAL, BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS KNOWN THAT SHE WAS ADOPTED. SHE FOUND HER BIOLOGICAL PARENTS ON FACE BOOK AND THEY WONT LET GO. I AM FELLING SO BETRAYED AND EMPY . HOW DO I STOP THIS?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Anonymous and thank you for your comment.

    Try to not focus on stopping your daughter from embracing her biological family and getting to know them, rather focus your emotions and thoughts on understanding what is going on in her life. Speaking from an adoptee perspective, she is probably full of emotions right now. It takes time to process everything. I am sure she is wondering how you are feeling and does not want to hurt you. By her reaching out to her biological family does not mean that she loves you and any less or that you were not a great mother to her. There is just a bond that a birth mother has with their child and no one can change that. Believe me though, your daughter needs your love and understanding right now. Give her some time to figure everything out. I have not found my biological mom yet; however, when I do it is not going to change the relationship I have with my adoptive mom. My adoptive is my mom. She has done everything for me. She gave life, provided what she could, and taught me to love. No one could ever take that away from the two of us. I do have a burning desire just to know who my biological mom is and perhaps what happened. I have siblings I want to know that have nothing to do with my biological mom. Please understand what your daughter is going through. You have to put yourself in her shoes. Imagine never knowing who your mom is. It beats you up inside every year that passes. Life is about finding peace and that is probably what she needs right now. I do not know how close she is with you or if she lives with you, but speak to her. Let her know you are there for her. By you having an understanding how she is feeling may help you not feel betrayed and empty. I send you a hug because I know I want would want the same for my mom. I would never want her to feel like she was not a good enough mother to me. I am sorry i took so long to respond, but I am here for you to answer any questions you may have through this process. *HUGS*

    ReplyDelete

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