Yep, the holidays are in full swing. Christmas music is bumpin' through every speaker in town, decorations paint the city, and people are jingling bells like the energizer bunny gone crazy. For some this is pure bliss. For others, it is a time of reflection and depression.
For most, the holidays are known to bring cheer and joy. People are constantly ringing bells and decking halls all over the place. But to adoptees and fostered youth and adults, this holiday is a stocking full of coal, a Christmas tree with no lights or gifts, and an army of Grinch's. This season many adoptees and foster youth and adults won't have a family to celebrate with due to never being adopted, broken relationships, and confusion (I'll explain in the latter).
Just to be clear: Just because a person was adopted, it does not mean that they have a family. Some adoptions don't pan out as the American dream family. To be real, some people are sick and exploit adoptees, hence adoptees running away and never returning home leaving them without a family this Christmas.
Then, we have adoptees that are adopted and are searching for their families harboring unexplainable emotions. Adoptees have to deal with celebrating with their adoptive family and pondering if their biological family is thinking of them at a time when families gather.
Lastly, we have another group of adoptees that are a torn between the two. These are adoptees that are in reunion with their biological family. These adoptees have to choose where they will celebrate Christmas. Will it be with their adoptive family or will it beeeee with their biological family? You want to talk about conflict arising! WHEW! It can get real nasty in the end. I hear from adoptees all the time around this season that are so confused as to which family they should want to celebrate with. Many adoptees that are fresh in reunion want to spend it with their biological family, but the havoc they get from their adoptive family is a nightmare. Most adoptive families will support the thought of their child spending part of the holidays with their biological family, but not on CHRISTMAS DAY. It can be heart breaking to have to choose between the two. In fact I don't understand why an adoptive family would make their child choose. Ugh.
To those that read this post: my heart goes out to you if you are struggling with the holiday season. I know it's hard. The music drives me ba-zerkkk to be honest. It brings all these memories back and tears start streaming down my face. But I want to remind you how strong you are. Look how far you have come. If it helps you this holiday season if you are alone, volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen. There is no better feeling than giving back. I have had to do it a couple time to get through. There are so many people that are alone and could use a person as special as you!