This perhaps is the number one reason why adoptees search for their way back home. How will we ever know who we are when we do not even know where we come from. This is what adoptive parents do not understand. Yes we love you, yes we are thankful for what you have done for us, and yes we will always see you as our mom and dad, but the truth is I still do not know who I am. I need to know my heritage, my culture, and my roots. Most of all, deep inside I yearn to know what could have been.
Not knowing who we are leads to challenges in our futures. And sometimes they may develop into behavioral issues. We are challenged by our peers, our siblings that may not be adopted, and strangers. Imagine being in a grocery store checking out with your adopted child that looks nothing like you, and the women behind you in the checkout asks about your children. This is the time that us adoptees ears perk up and alarms start going off; we are reminded once again that we are different. It is a feeling that we do not belong and will never belong. Yes, you can argue that it does not matter what people think, but in our mind it does. All we want is to fit in so badly. We do not want to be different all the time.
Therefore, if it eases the pain for us, please do us this favor and let us find our way back home. Even if it is just to see what it may look like or feel like. And please be there for us when we come back. You have no idea how hard it is for us to even make that first step with courage. We go into the search with blind eyes, but with vision of happiness. Happiness that is not always guaranteed; therefore, we need your comfort. We need the same love to prevail whether things turn out positively or negatively. Please do not hold us back from finding ourselves. Perhaps this may help you find you too.
We never know how strong we are until we are challenged from the heart...
"Therefore, if it eases the pain for us, please do us this favor and let us find our way back home. Even if it is just to see what it may look like or feel like. And please be there for us when we come back. You have no idea how hard it is for us to even make that first step with courage. We go into the search with blind eyes, but with vision of happiness. Happiness that is not always guaranteed; therefore, we need your comfort. We need the same love to prevail whether things turn out positively or negatively. Please do not hold us back from finding ourselves. Perhaps this may help you find you too. "
ReplyDeleteThis doesnt just apply to people who are adopted, but I really realzied this AFTER I was beaten...All I asked was people who loved me, to be there when I get home. xoxox
Great post!
Sure it does Curves but you know your identity, your family and where you come from presumably.Anyone suffering trauma needs people to love and support them to find their way, adoptees have many additional tasks, all to do wit adoption
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post my friend!
Stefanie: I am sorry to hear that happened to you, and I am thankful you were able to overcome. Strength. Home is so important to everyone in every aspect. To have a place to go to to as refuge, comfort, peace is important. Universal love.
ReplyDeleteVon: As adotees we most def have our work cut out for us. It seems to never end. It is hard to please everyone in the family. In my case as an adoptee that has since found her family, I fear not having a positive outcome. I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings as I sort through the truth. Even though I know I have to do this for me it is very challenging. I just want both my adoptive fam and bio fam to be supportive even if it hurts them. At the end of the day I am the one that will have to be thr strongest and endure the most whether it is a positive or negative outcome. I am most thankful to have people like you that support, teach, and inspire adoptees. No one knows our pain except for those that have been in it. My fellow adoptee fam has been the best therapy I could ask for. Thank you!