This perhaps is the number one reason why adoptees search for their way back home. How will we ever know who we are when we do not even know where we come from. This is what adoptive parents do not understand. Yes we love you, yes we are thankful for what you have done for us, and yes we will always see you as our mom and dad, but the truth is I still do not know who I am. I need to know my heritage, my culture, and my roots. Most of all, deep inside I yearn to know what could have been.
Not knowing who we are leads to challenges in our futures. And sometimes they may develop into behavioral issues. We are challenged by our peers, our siblings that may not be adopted, and strangers. Imagine being in a grocery store checking out with your adopted child that looks nothing like you, and the women behind you in the checkout asks about your children. This is the time that us adoptees ears perk up and alarms start going off; we are reminded once again that we are different. It is a feeling that we do not belong and will never belong. Yes, you can argue that it does not matter what people think, but in our mind it does. All we want is to fit in so badly. We do not want to be different all the time.
Therefore, if it eases the pain for us, please do us this favor and let us find our way back home. Even if it is just to see what it may look like or feel like. And please be there for us when we come back. You have no idea how hard it is for us to even make that first step with courage. We go into the search with blind eyes, but with vision of happiness. Happiness that is not always guaranteed; therefore, we need your comfort. We need the same love to prevail whether things turn out positively or negatively. Please do not hold us back from finding ourselves. Perhaps this may help you find you too.
We never know how strong we are until we are challenged from the heart...