Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Top 5 Things You Should Never Say or Do to an Adoptee

Rule #1: Never abandon, break up, or reject an adoptee with no explanation (ex. relationships, friendships, love)

Rule# 2 Never tell an adoptee "You should be thankful...". You have no idea what some adoptees have experienced

Rule #3 Never tell an adoptee "At least you weren't aborted...you had a chance to live"

Rule #4 Never think just because a child was adopted that they had a better life.

Rule #5 Never tell an adoptee how they should feel about being adopted. Everyone has a unique journey.  

Have any more rules to add? Please post in the comment area. I would love to read and share them. 


  1. Love this... especially your rule 5... just wish more people would realize that each adoption journey is unique xxx

  2. #19 especially. So long as my adoptive mom was alive, certain family members kept most of their feeling negative feeling about me to themselves. Once she became terminal it was a no holds barred situation.

    Note: To those adopting children, please think this through. Not all family members and extended members will share in your joy. I have been in several situations over the years where I was told how much of a waste I was, that they didn't have to be nice to me, or that I should stay away. One even told me that I wasn't a Frett. It hurts and I hate those people. My mom would always say never mind them when I was a kid. later on sides were taken and after she died I slowly and strategically separated myself from them. Still keeping my distance from those that are still living as an act of self-preservation. I wouldn't wish adoption on anyone!

    My adoptive parents gave me an above average life of experiences, education and things. My adoptive mother was my best friend and all that, but she did very little to show me how to deal with what I would encounter from people. As a result I will never trust another living person.


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